11 Commandments for Anil Ambani

I am seriously considering a career move. I think there’s more of a future in management consultancy than civil engineering. If my experience with Reliance managers is any indication, then Reliance is tottering on the brink of a huge battle against disgruntled and dissatisfied customers like me. HR in Reliance seems to be an alien concept. I’ll introduce it and teach some manners to its employees and Anil Ambani will pay me millions for revolutionizing HR practices in his stinking company. Then I can write a book about it, which will earn more millions for me (Since it will be heavily priced, good advice doesn’t come free, you know!). My book will probably become a ‘Must-Read’ for wannabe HR Managers! Whoa, my life is set!

My Eleven Commandments for Anil Ambani

1. Thou will concentrate more on increasing quality of products rather than negotiating expensive deals will foreign companies.
2. Thou will not give any more false promises.
3. Thou will teach employees how to count.
4. Thou will teach employees some basic manners and not take customers for granted.
5. Thou will not allow employees to take very long lunch breaks and keep customers waiting.
6. Thou will be responsible for its franchisees and make rules to keep a detailed record.
7. Thou will fire the employee who was rude and unprofessional to this author.
8. Thou will not hire robots for replying to mails sent to customer care (or the 'service assurance' cell for that matter).
   
9. Thou will pay a million dollars for this advice.
10. Thou will give this author’s money back.
11. Thou will insist on providing free unlimited internet access for the next five years for this author who has been wronged.
    

Well, if any one of you has had bad experiences with Reliance, then do tell me. We’ll sit together on weekends and crib over Reliance and make an Orkut community ‘I HATE RELIANCE’.

P.S. Free autographed copies of my book ‘How I made Reliance reliable’ (A Soon-to-be Best seller) to the person who comes up with an excellent four letter word for Reliance! :-)

Relying on Reliance- A reflection of the state of things in India

I suppose it was my mistake. I should never have paid the money. People tend to forget things when money comes into their hands even if it is a sum of Rs. 2800(Small for a crorepati but definitely big for a middle class college student like me). I paid the money for a USB data card, which I am yet to receive, even after a month has passed.
I have been calling people everyday, from the last few weeks, nagging them to death but my complaint keeps getting shunted from one Reliance employee to another, each one of them promising to send the data card today. I have heard so many excuses too. ‘Sorry ma’m, I had to go to the hospital today, so I couldn’t send it.’ Now, my 2800 bucks are paying for his hospital bills! I am still waiting for my beloved data card. I am tired of calling up people everybody. I just want my money back. When I asked for my money back, I was tersely refused. ‘Hun paisa paccha nahi aapu.’ That’s what I heard from the last ‘reliable’ person from Reliance.
You know, I can’t help but correlate this with the state of Indian politics. Our politicians keep on giving false promises to the citizens of the country and we believe them. Why does it take so long for development projects to get completed? Why is it that work on roads starts just before monsoons? The verdict is delivered years after a crime has been committed. Why does it take so long to get things done in this country? Why does the government spend days meditating on one small thing to be done?
Of course, the fault lies in us voters too. We are the ones who get these people elected. But do we have any other choice? Either buy a data card from a very ‘reliable’ reliance (Well, he did promise me two months of unlimited internet access) or from a comparatively more expensive Tata Indicomm (which has a reputation of lousy customer service). So I chose Reliance and look what happened? Anil Ambani enjoys a salary which is probably more than what I will earn in my entire life, with my money (Yes, my 2800 bucks)!
This is how things are in the country. You either choose between BJP with Narendra Modi at its forefront, championing the cause of Hinduism and protecting people against ‘terrorists’ like Sohrabuddin or the Congress with its policies for more reservation, caring only about getting votes from the minorities and forgetting about the so-called majority. Well, at least Modi promises development! You vote for BJP and you get Narendra Modi who makes tall claims and challenges terrorists to have the temerity to attack Gujarat, inviting people to stone you when you are sitting in a house made of glass. Meanwhile, dormant terrorists abound in the state, silently, bidding their time. Yes Mr. Modi, you were instrumental in increasing foreign investment in Gujarat but how about doing something to decrease the crime rate and taking fast action in sexual harassment cases which seem to be increasing like global oil prices. Whoever you vote for, the result is still the same. Poverty still exists. Rapists still get away free. Developmental projects start but never get completed. Corruption still abounds and the honest tax payer’s money goes towards taking care of the security of politicians.

No wonder, we are a cynical lot.